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The narcissist knows that if the sex is consistently good, it’s likely we’ll allow it to override the bad stuff.

In other words, the sex becomes the narcissist’s benefit of the doubt for everything he’s done, is doing, and even plans to do.

The sex becomes our connection – the connection – between us and the narcissist that feels anything like love at all.

And because the N is such a good pretender, we accept this love at face value and sadly settle for the crumbs. Every day, from the stats of visitors that visit this blog, I find an abundance of search terms/phrases that include the words .

Not only did he withhold sex, he had no problem requesting it no matter what the situation.

In the middle of a fight…right after screaming how much he hated my guts…after cheating on me and getting caught red handed…after smacking me hard across the head as he liked to do…..after literally threatening to put a bullet in my head (if he only had a gun)…then suddenly To be honest, most of the time I jumped at the chance for an easy (if not demoralizing) way to peace and – what the hell – I knew it would be good!

The dynamic of the narcissistic manipulation becomes a matter of victims becoming desperate for what they can’t have and the narcissist knowing it.

At some point during our relationship (and probably the first time he cheated), my ex discovered his Ace in the Hole. You see, it’s the narcissist’s job to know how we work.

Long before we’ve ever learned how to read the narcissist, he’s got us all figured out.

This is very telling to me about what weighs heavily on the minds of readers.

In this article, I hope I have appropriately shared what I think happens to us in our quest to be loved by a person who can never love us.